Town Prepares for Celebrated Bi-Decade Power Shortage
Here we are again folks! It's time for that special time each bi-decade, where we are reminded of a simpler time, a better time. When men were men, and modern electrical conveniences were non-existent.
Now you younger folk, may not remember the last bi-decade power shortage, but here at The Conversationalist, we known all about it!
It started, originally, as a way to divert power to the city broadcasting towers so that the rest of America could receive their beautiful brand of patriotic programming, this would last for almost a year! Now, because of national budget cuts, the whole event will only last for a few months. Our humble town, simply can not afford to hold it any longer. Sorry old timers.
We followed folks around the city and asked what they were doing with their #lastdayofpower (We sure are trendy!).
Here are some of their responses:
"I'm going to work on my art!"
"I'm going to eat all the food in my fridge so it doesn't go bad!"
"I'm going to have my stomach pumped, the good ol' fashioned way!"
"I need a haircut, and not on my head this time Frank!"
"Well you know, the wildcats aren't going to feed themselves."
"'I'm going to hide from my ex-husband."
"I think I'll fix that old car I have out back."
"I'm going to stick a fork in an electrical socket! I've always wanted to do that!#lastdayofpower!"
Isn't that nice?
On a more serious note, work has started on the hydroelectrical dam in preparation for when the bi-decade power shortage celebration is over. This marks the 3rd hydroelectrical dam to be built in San Isidoro monotown area in the last decade. The other two have since been decommissioned after severe acts of hydroterrorism. Strangely, they fished out the bloated corpse of a tall bald man that was later identified as the notorious "Sewer Bandit" while cleaning out the storm drains for the new dam. They subsequently put it with the rest of them down at the former town water tower.
Finally, as you all know, ever since our switch to the digital format, we have not been releasing articles in our original paper format. Luckily, thanks to the bi-decade power shortage, we will not be able to post our freshest scoops on the world wide web for the duration of the next few months, but worry not Isidrites! Our classic town crier service will be returning next Friday from its century long hiatus!
So that is the what's what and how's how! They are pulling the power soon, and the lights are just begining to go down. So get those candles lit and those shovels digging, because the bi-decade power shortage has just begun!
Lights out,
Frank Ocules
Editor-in-Chief, The Conversationalist* San Isidoro U.S.A. and proud! #lastdayofpower