We Don't Want Your Money

Just in from San Isidoro - Starting Monday this week, our fair city is saying GOOD BYE to that tree-killing, wallet-clogging nonsense called MONEY. That's right! In his latest annual weekend proclamation, the esteemed Mayor and Head Cactus Adjudicator Dunwal has decided to phase out that cold, hard cash in favor of a system our town's founders had come to know and love - barter!

When asked by The Conversationalist on how he formulated this groundbreaking policy, Mayor Dunwal had this to say:

"We had already been reducing the waste of fibrous consumables such as paper in our city, partially thanks to your newspaper's (correction: we are a newsletter) bold move to switch to a fully-online format. Well, I was walking through the fine neighborhood of Northgreen Groves a few moons ago and I saw a group of affluent gentlemen throwing this paper rubbish into the air and that's when it hit me. We didn't need this money! San Isidoro is greater than any number of reprocessed trees that represent monetary values, combined."

And right he was! Isidrites everywhere have been nothing but joyful in the face of this change. So joyful, in fact, that Monday has been declared a townwide holiday so the schoolchildren can attend the mass cash-burning that afternoon in front of the San Isidoro Heritage Bank. They will not, however, be permitted to skip classes for the burning of the bank itself the following afternoon.

Anyway, I'm off to trade a lot of my worldly possessions for a lifetime supply of unsalted butter. I suggest you embrace our new system and do similar.

Buttering myself up,

Frank Ocules

Editor-in-Chief, The Conversationalist* San Isidoro U.S.A. and proud!