Notorious Sewer Bandit, Pleads Twinsanity!

The scales have been tipped folks! After many postponements of his trial, Mr.Sam has finally gone to court today. The trial was long, tedious and very exciting. The jury, which was composed of a doctor, a fireman, a male entertainer and a composer (all who refuse to be named) was chosen for the utmost balanced and just trial of this notorious psychopathic criminal.

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The trial began with the traditional San Isidoro walk-of-shame, wherein Mr.Sam was forced to walk the entirety of Main St. to the courthouse barefoot and naked whilst lathered in butter and while all the school children and the elderly pelted him with San Isidoro traditional discarded tuna cans, and the social elite pelted him with the discontinued paper (formerly money). Once Mr.Sam was inside of the courthouse, he was taken via armored van to the other end of Main St. to repeat this process five more times. After the endevour, His Judiciousness, Judge Jared Mustafang, took his seat on the High Chair of Justice and Truth and Honor and Liberty (and proud!). Mr.Sam then took a seat on the chair of shame (a discarded water bucket from the scene of one of his many transgressions). The trial lasted 15 minutes. 14 of which were used for an extended recess, due to the need for recess break. It was an emotional, heart-wrenching affair for at least one person, the defendant. His lawyer, provided by the state, said nothing. This was likely because his lawyer was a mannequin, and therefore can not be held at fault for this (according to Equality Act 444, instituted during the Occupy San Isidoro Movement). After all it is very well known that mannequins will not stand to defend criminals because of their rigid moral code. I'm sure you all caught it on the San Isidoro Public Access payperview broadcast.

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The defendant pleaded Insanity, but moments later his twin burst into the room screaming, dripping wet. It was not previously known that Mr.Sam had a twin, but it does bring light to all the bodies that have been rotting in the newly-repaired San Isidoro water tower. This new twin was arrested and promptly put through the traditional San Isidoro walk-of-shame. He was trialed with Mr.Sam, who had to repeat the walk-of-shame for posterity. This new Mr.Sam (now known as Mr.Sam 2) confessed to multiple accounts of hydroterrorism before dropping dead in the middle of a heart-felt, passionate speech on the moral high grounds of feeding wildcats cacti and the possible pollution of Lake Lepotage. His body was put into the water tower, but not before he was declared as guilty and sentenced to 20 years of community service, the heaviest burden handed out by Judge Mustafang in years. Mr.Sam's trial continued and he was declared Twinsane and was sentenced to 35 years of cleaning out the Lake. When asked about this the Judge says that Mr.Sam 2's speech opened his eyes to the need to clean out the Lake and protect the local tuna. Since Mr.Sam 2 passed away tragically, Mr.Sam will be serving both of the sentences of the twins. And there you have it folks, the thrilling story, the emotional conclusion and the back-breaking hard work of environmental hygiene. *UPDATE: Judge Mustafang has also decided to sentence Mr.Sam to serve out the punishments for the other 36 deceased tall bald men in the water tower.